who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
I look excited, but its just a facade.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
