I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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