whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
