I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
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