Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
