Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
