the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
Randomize
