it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
