i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Randomize
