i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Randomize
