All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Randomize
