dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
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