Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
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