just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Randomize
