its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
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