Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
So drunk its hurt
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Randomize