you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
