I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Randomize
