I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
