Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
