I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
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