And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Randomize
