I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
