My sheets look like a crime scene.
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
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