Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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