I think I died a long time ago.
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
