He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
