i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
