Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
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