I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Small penises have feelings too.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
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