I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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