If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
Randomize