Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Randomize
