that's an acceptable place to lick
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
I need to sanitize my soul.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize