My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Randomize
