Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize
