I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize