I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize