is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
