I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
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