dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Randomize
