I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
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