dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
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