so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Randomize
