Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
