dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Randomize
