he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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