suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
Randomize
