we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
My legs feel like baby dolphins
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
