he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Randomize
