put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize