Non-Jews are for practice
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
Let's paint friendship bongs
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
