If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize
