My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
We don't watch enough power rangers
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Randomize
