we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
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