I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
you inspire me to be a worse person
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
Edward fifth and chaser hands
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize